Op/Ed By Cynthia Blake –
I work with a group of six women, and they have been leaving me out of a group lunch that seems to be by “memo invitation” within the office.
I have only been invited to one lunch, which was a verbal ask by one of the group members who thought I was invited, such as “Are you coming?”
This seems to be unfair, because our company tasks are discussed during those lunches. When our group is called into meetings, everyone else has updates that I don’t have, and I look like I am not on the same page.
What should I do?
Didn’t Get the Lunch Memo
Dear Didn’t Get the Lunch Memo:
When you are invited to the next group lunch, it should be acceptable to ask how members are informed of the upcoming lunches. Hopefully, at that point, you will be given the updates that everyone else has. Then, going forward, you will be on the same page as everyone else. Remember, the only bad questions are the ones we do not ask. When we ask and receive clarity, we have a resolve.
I am having trouble finding balance between a busy schedule and a happy life. After all the daily tasks and regular stress of the day-to-day, I find myself exhausted most days, and unable to find a moment of peace. My responsibilities and tasks aren’t going anywhere, so how do I find a way to enjoy more of my life?
Signed Busy and Unhappy
Dear Busy and Unhappy:
It’s important for us to leave home at home when we leave home, and to leave work at work when we leave work. One of the ways to reduce stress from our day-to-day chores and responsibilities is to find an hour in the evening to sit and relax. What that hour can do is bring you some peaceable moments, and balance. Spending that hour being thankful and counting your blessings may result in your enjoyment.
I think I have developed a fear of traveling. I used to be much more adventurous. But now, it seems as if every time you turn around, all you hear about are more terrorist attacks, either at home or abroad. I’ve always wanted to travel outside the country, but now I’m not so sure it’s a good idea. What do you think I should do? Do you think I should remain cautious, and not take the risk? Or do you think I should throw caution to the wind, and see the world?
Thanks for your response.
Afraid to Travel Outside the US
Have you heard that you only live once? The former President Franklin D. Roosevelt said, and I quote, “There’s nothing to fear, but fear itself.” Are you familiar with the acronym F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real)? How about this one, “If you don’t risk anything, you’re not truly living.” So, with heartfelt concern, I’d like to say to you, “It is better to live a life full of hope, than to live in fear.”
My dad never calls me. I try to call him several times per year, and go visit him at least once per year, but every time I visit, by the time I leave, his wife (the new, younger one)-my step mom, changes the phone number. Should I keep calling him, and trying to maintain a relationship? I’m 40 years old and this has been going on for the past 20+ years.
Out of respect for your dad and your stepmother, I would wait, and give them an opportunity to call you. Since this has been going on for the past 20 years, there’s no reason to be perplexed. If they are unwilling to contact you, there’s nothing you can do about it.
Disclaimer: The advice offered in this column is intended for informational purposes only. Use of this column is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist.
Editor’s Note: One of the Minority Reporter’s newest staff members, with a knack for giving great advice, will be offering her response to any reader questions, inquiries, or troubles in her new “Dear Cynthia” column, which will be published regularly in the Minority Reporter. With an honest and open approach, upheld by a wealth of life experiences, she’s here to lend a listening ear to any reader dilemmas, problems, or difficulties our readers may face, and share the life lessons she’s learned from facing her own life challenges.
We value Cynthia’s opinion at the Minority Reporter, and, once you get to know her, we’re sure you will too! Please welcome Cynthia, as we continue to share her new responses, above!
Send us your question for Cynthia (use the form below)… or your can email her at email@example.com.