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Straight No Chaser: The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth, Revisited

Op/Ed By Gloria Winston


gloria newI recently posted the following question on Facebook, and then decided I needed to expand on it. Stay with me, please.

This is the question: “Why is it the most difficult people, those who require all the understanding in the world, refuse to accept, and understand you, as a person? They will publicly claim to love and respect you, but they really don’t, and want you to CHANGE.

Sorry guys and girls, God loves me just the way I am. And, if it is too much for you to accept, then move on. Please feel free to continue to live the lie you live. I am the TRUTH, the whole TRUTH, and nothing but the TRUTH!!! I am fine with who I am.

I am also 70 years old, which means, if I just met you, then I have lived 69 years without you. Do the math, and then tell me how important your petty concerns are to me!!!! IJS.”

People never cease to amaze me. Sometimes, people get on my last nerve, especially the way some people want acceptance, and understanding, but then fail to any give to others. We have all been there, done that, and know people who are more than confused about who they are themselves.

So, I guess it would be safe to say, if someone knows nothing about themselves, how could you ever expect them to see and to understand who you are? I have often said, ‘We are all victims of our upbringing. The values instilled in us at any early age follow us into adulthood.’

Therefore, if you were allowed to kick sand, stomp your feet, and pout as a child, you will no doubt become the kind of adult who exemplifies the same behavior. And, that behavior will probably occur when someone disagrees with  you, or refuses to see things the way you see them. That behavior will also usually occur (whether you are a man or woman) when EGO (Easing God Out) has prevailed.

However, by no means do I consider myself to be perfect and flawless. I just happen to consider myself to be acceptable, in God’s eyes. The only time I have walked on water is when it was frozen. But, I am still HIS child, not yours, to mold and to shape as you would, if you could.

I have become more than concerned, and annoyed, when I have taken the time to accept people for who they are, but have found them to be somewhere in my background, trying to manipulate me, or the outcomes they have found themselves to be uncomfortable with.

However, I have found it is easy to move on, and leave people where you’ve found them.

None of us have the power to change anyway. Many folks fail to realize that, the only change that will happen within a person, is the change they’ve deemed necessary; not the one you’ve attempted to manufacture.

Some people with baggage may attempt to hide their flaws, when they come into in a relationship.

And, some of those people are not just carrying suitcases full of flaws, they are actually carrying trunks of emotionally-charged garbage they are ready to dump onto someone else.

For example, those women who may have picked the wrong “baby’s daddy,” the one they now no longer communicate with, are probably more than likely so bitter, you could cut their negative spirits with a knife.

And, the women who have no men in their lives are always the ones who are quick to try to advise another woman or a man about how to treat their significant others. Women can be more than petty creatures. Some who bring absolutely nothing to the table are quick to offend those who do.

Women, and their petty jealousies, engage in what I refer to as ‘bitch politics.’ But, they hide their actions from the men they have been trying so hard to impress. And, the men fail to see them because they have been basking in the attention they are receiving.

Men, on the other hand, have a tendency to hold onto pain, which may allow the baggage they carry to overflow with mistrust, and give them the tendency to treat all women the same. I have often said, I am tired of being the Elmer’s Glue, piecing those broken men back together, only to watch them move on with someone else.

Anyone else ever had that experience? It is called fattening frogs for snakes. Men often confuse lust with love, and many spend a lifetime trying to differentiate between the two.

I truly love the hypocritical men who sit in the church pews every Sunday, but are fornicating every Monday in the name of the Lord. I love the ones who quote scripture, and thump their Bibles, but are committing more sins on a regular basis than most.

It is truly not my job to judge. I have only said, in support of my argument, there are no perfect people in the world. The only ones who are perfect are lying six feet below the ground.

We all have issues, some people just happen to have more than others. And, some want acceptance and understanding, while, all the while, they have been failing to reciprocate.

However, because I am the kind of person who tries very hard to accept people for who they are, I believe I’ve failed to understand those who do not attempt to do the same. We are not qualified to change anyone but ourselves. I know people who have gotten married, and thought that marriage was going to change something about their spouses they found to be unacceptable.

I may also have a tendency to be a romantic, but, then, REALITY kicks in when I come across those who want to believe they may have the power to change someone else.

Hey, clueless. It’s not your job. Your job is to accept, or reject.

And, sometimes moving on becomes the more acceptable option, because you ain’t God! You own no one but yourself.

Every now and then, I have found it necessary to revisit the TRUTH, the whole TRUTH, and nothing but the TRUTH!! And, if you can’t handle truth, then do yourself a favor, and please move past me, because I will not lie to you just to stroke your EGO.

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